♥'Tuesday'♥
It has been sometime I’ve not blogged. The last I blogged, I left you guys with me and Farid eating out at Seoul Garden. Tonight’s entry won’t be much of “What I did today” entry. Well I just need some where to express my emotions. No one right to express to but some of the stuffs I told my colleague, Diana. I just feel that its time for me to write in about this. It is not a direct entry so it’s going to be a long and whiney one. Here goes…
I had known this friend. Liked him a lot as he was one of a kind. I knew him during the days of me and my ex was not in good terms. Him knowing I was attached that time was painful but he was the one that I felt the most comfortable and myself. Even after I had walked on my own road, I still liked him. After the confession, he told me that its better we just stay as friends at the moment as he was not ready for a relationship. I understood him; rejection is something of a norm in my life. Gave him space and all, yeah I did have my fun with someone else but what the heck… I’m single. Yeah he did got jealous and all… and I did got jealous with him… but hei… even though feelings was there I just told myself that me and him are just friends. Knowing that he has been dating, the feeling was like a skew pierced through my heart.
… I moved on …
New story
It was a Friday, I came early to CeMTA (ITE Simei) for my rehearsals. I was about to announce that the rehearsal room has been opened, when this person walked out of the dance studio. He looked at me in confusion. I just smiled and walked into my rehearsal room. As everyone was doing their warm-up, I was busy checking the attendance, that person called me out. I mistakenly thought that he was calling for of my drama friends so I ignored. He pointed to me and asked me out.
“Eh you, still remember me or not?”, he asked.
In a monotonous tone, I said “yeah, you are Arief.”
Shrugged his shoulders and nods, he just kept asking me a few more questions till I stopped him and told him that I have rehearsals. As we were to walk our own ways, I turned back and just told him that I had changed my number. There was this light on his face and a smile, cheerfully turned back and noted my number. After that I went back in for rehearsals.
New story (but need this to relate)
It was my last rehearsal day, in three days time would be friday and is CeMTA Drama Group’s big premier of their double bill, Slaves of Pharaoh and Prayer for the Millennium. I was in the bus, 900, going back home – took 168 from Tampines alone – when someone called me. This anonymous person just asked me a lot of questions in one shot. He asked me about my malay dance group, the tickets and so on. After I put down the phone, I smsed him and told him that I could reserve a few tickets for him first. We arranged a time to meet up the next day.
New storyAfter hearing my story, I am stuck in between them. How? Well both of them like me. The first person I mentioned just now, we had dated before but it turned sour. Previously when we date, we never had hold hands, or any skin contact, sat far from each other and all. We got into an argument over about US, he eventually told me he wanted to turn straight but the one thing that hurt me badly was when he said “You think you are worth it to have my cock!?”, yes I clearly remember what he said to me. Irregardless what, I kept my feelings for him till today. When he asked for my number I just asked my self, “Why does he want me back?”.
As for the other guy, well he is by far the first person to make the first move on me. I just don’t know what to do because I never had someone to make the first move… on to me! He is really sweet, he brought me food from home and even traveled to my school in Bishan to just pass me the food. He would walk me home and all. One thing made me really moved away was … he is too discreet. I could only show my love when there are four walls surrounding us or behind closed and locked doors.
Right now I am just simply lost between these two guys… One is a sweet heart and the other is just “kenangan manis”. I like both guys but I just at times I don’t see me and either guys together as a couple. Right now I am just awaiting the day that things are settled down and happy. Even though I feel like not getting into a relationship at the moment because of my commitments with school, work and other stuffs. So am just letting time pass by as it is and let nature takes its course.
=
