♥'Wednesday'♥
As i sit here trying to hard to sleep, i looked at the new sliced scars i did and that sharp pen knife (which i threw but dad found it in the bin... so its back). Its rusty. I looked at it... blood oozing out... dripping... When i slice up, there is this tinggling feeling. It isn't euphoric neither it hurts but... just a tinggling feeling. I've been covering all the while. People don't notice it. So... later i will be going to school (which i am tired of). It will end late as always. New teachers (except for Zara la) and new modules learn. Oh well, its time to "angkat bola" again.
Many have been asking me,
"What would i do if i were to bump into HIM?"This is a very simple question...
IGNORE. Seriously, eventhough he may be angry at someone else (quoted from him) and i may have burst into flames all of the sudden... i just dislikes it when he starts to get all moody, bitchy and all. It does not scares me but it simply irritates me. Why? He likes to target people and usually he would write up on his MSN nick. It always triggers people telling me that he is angry with me and all. Some believes him, some disagrees... but which ever side you trust... you will know the truth one day. But Don't ever judge me over his words and Don't judge him over my words because we simply have a lot of things that keeps us on setting things on fire so dont bother to ask us for an opinion about each other alright? Cause you would either get a good opinion or a bad one.
"Do i hate him?"Well
NO i dont but just dont want to be close to him anymore. There are so many things i like and dislike but i just need to get away. So what he has so many dates and attracts those str8, mats, dragon-boaters, popular, smart and rich guys...
I DONT GIVE A FUCKING CARE! Let him tell exagerated tales of me to them... it does not hurt me and its up to them to believe (which they would at first but later... i leave to time to tell).
Look here aite, I had many regrets and realised many things but i am not going to have him block my way on pursuing my dreams and goals. I have my own life to lead with my own hard earned money (which i need to pay my hp bills... blardy Singtel why cant give me a complimentary service..lolx) to spend on no one else but my self (and those who deserves it).
"Don't i want my stuffs back?"I just want my old phone back thats all. The rings, the jade necklace, cups, teddies and etcs... all of that he can throw, keep, donate or do what ever he wants. It has no fuction neither does it have any significance to me. All of that was bought from my hard earned money (HALAL)
FOR HIM , he can just regard it as a gift for display/flaunt. Okie i know you all think that i should get it back... but nah... i dont want it even
I'm a simple person who drinks, clubs, throws laundry all over the room, sleeps nude, constantly masturbeds to porn (i dont often have ONS), eats chocolates and ain't materialistic. I hate accessories. So my life is practically simple.
"Why am I scarring myself?"For a simple reason.. i miss doing it and i am back to where i was a few years back. A depressed, hurt, growing and straight forward person. Well just checked up on you all again soon aite. Bye